Topographically Speaking
by Abarero
Summary: And so, that is how Australia found himself in the precarious position of trying to impress the lovely Sheila that possessed the second highest mountains in Africa, with what his country had to offer. Australia/Kenya
1. Topographically Speaking

Author's Notes: Hello, this will be my collection of Australia/Kenya stories. I found out that the two nations help each other for a lot of various things and decided to write a bit about their Hetalia counterparts.

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**Topographically Speaking**

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He was awoken by the digitalized strains of _Waltzing Matilda_ coming from his cell phone, and groggily, he reached over to pick it up.

Squinting blearily at the number on the display, he sighed. _Ah Kenya…_

"G'day, what can I do ya for?"

"Did I wake you or were you just napping so early in the day?"

Sitting up straighter on his porch chair, Australia adjusted his slouch hat and chuckled. "Just napping, no worries. We got another pirate situation on our hands, Kenya?"

She politely laughed and Australia could just imagine how she was probably tossing her dreadlocks over her shoulder.

"Nah not today. It is…a bit of a personal favor, if you don't mind?"

Australia raised an eyebrow at that. While he'd definitely grown closer to the African nation since they'd both started pooling their resources to help the pirate situation in the waters between their lands, he'd always thought his particular fondness for her spunk and charm was just him wishing away the hours.

Well, whatdya know…

"I'd be more than willing to help, if I can."

He could hear her muttering something in her language (_ingiza njeve_) before she took a deep breath and asked.

"I'd like to get some training in for a race that's coming up and unfamiliar terrains are the best, so I was thinking…"

A roguish grin surfaced on Australia's face, and he could spot his koala giving him an odd look from where he was munching on eucalyptus nearby. So the lady wanted a good time in Australia, hmm? Well that, he was most certain to provide.

"Would you like to come visit, Kenya?" He said bravely, hoping he read the signals right.

She brought her words to a halt, and calmly replied, "Are you saying you have some good terrains to offer?"

As smoothly as he could manage, Australia replied, "Why don't you come and find out?"

And so, that is how Australia found himself in the precarious position of trying to impress the lovely Sheila that possessed the second highest mountains in Africa and the very bountiful Kenyan highlands, with what his country had to offer.

He decided on starting in the rainforests of Queensland.

Wearing comfortable canvas sneakers and clothing that was both suitable for the climate and for running, the two went headlong into the thick forests, making their own paths instead of taking the paved ones. Jumping over vines, plants and fallen tree trunks only slowed their pace a little, and it wasn't until Australia about stumbled into a cassowary that he came to a halt.

"Aren't you a spiffy one, mate," he said reaching out a hand to pet the large, flightless bird's head.

Kenya, who had already run past, realized that her guide was behind her and circled back. As she approached, the bird started to ruffle its feathers, but Australia talked it down.

"Now don't you get cranky. She's a nice one, I kid you not."

The cassowary seemed to consider this, before slowly leaning its neck towards Kenya. She smiled and gave the bird a gentle pat on the head.

"That's a right mean one when he wants to be. Must have charmed him down with your smile," Australia said, trying to play it cool. Of course, Kenya could handle animals far larger and more dangerous than this though. Home of the big five of Africa, after all.

But she gave Australia an understanding look as the cassowary began to wander off back into the foliage. And placing her hand on his shoulder, she asked, "Let's take a rest here, okay? Maybe some more of your forest friends will visit us."

And not about to pass up a chance like this, Australia pulled out their water bottles as they sat down on a fallen log nearby to enjoy the sights and the sounds of the rainforest around them.

They had just finished watching a Bennett's Tree Kangaroo jump through the branches over their heads when the rain began. Shrugging off his shirt, Australia held it up over them as an umbrella as they ran in tandem back through the forest towards the nearest shelter.

Even with their speed at running, a few minutes out in the downpour were enough to soak them both to the skin. Finally under a canvas shelter set up along one of the visitor pathways, they were able to stop and catch their breath. Australia looked to his now-soaked shirt and held it out at arms length as if he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. Kenya, who had just finished squeezing the rainwater out of her hair, just cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't know I'd be seeing this much Australian landscape in one go," she said, her eyes trailing down Australia's bare chest.

He had enough dignity in himself to blush, just slightly, and offer to put his wet shirt back on.

Kenya shook her head. "Don't worry, I'm…" she met his eyes, "I'm enjoying the view."

Australia raised an eyebrow at that and she did so in return. Finally, Australia held the damp shirt out to her.

"Rain and your shirt don't seem to be mixing so well, if you catch my drift…"

Kenya glanced down to her now practically see-through shirt and took Australia's shirt to hold over her front.

"Asante beste."

Australia blinked. "What did you…"

She smiled, taking a step closer to him. "I said, 'Thanks, friend.'"

"Ah."

They fell into a comfortable silence at that, the steady beating of the rain coming down around them. Neither one willing to admit that perhaps, just perhaps, they'd been casually edging closer each time they shifted their weight on their feet.

Finally, Australia quietly mumbled out, "Not that I was lookin' intentionally or anything, but…you've got some beautiful terrain yourself, Kenya."

Her eyes went wide, but with more intrigue than alarm. "Are we speaking topographically or…"

"Both," Australia said quickly, running a hand up through his damp hair. "You're a right beaut, you are."

She closed the space between them and pressed her hand against his bare chest. "And you certainly know how to treat a lady to a good time. Though granted, not everyone would enjoy jumping over rainforest undergrowth…"

"Only really classy ladies do, such as yourself," he quipped back.

She smiled, pressing up against him and letting his shirt fall to the ground. "Topographically speaking, I'm rather looking forward to taking a run around Ayers Rock. But as for the moment, why don't we just let our physical geography do the talking, 'kay?"

"Spot on," he replied, because really, despite the rain and the circumstances, and well…in fact a lot of other things, the moment couldn't have been more perfect.

And not about to pass up such a golden opportunity, Australia grinned and wrapped his arms around her, both of them leaning in for a kiss as the rain continued its relentless downpour.

Somewhere, in the very back of Australia's mind at that moment, he thought to himself that perhaps his landscapes weren't so shabby after all. In fact, if Kenya liked the rainforests this much he'd really have to take her to the Great Barrier Reef. That would definitely impress her even more.

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NOTES:  
1] Kenya is playing a strong role in international efforts to combat piracy off the Horn of Africa, including trying pirates detained by international forces in the Gulf of Aden. Australia is also contributing to these international efforts, by providing a frigate and AP-3C maritime patrol aircraft.  
2] _ingiza njeve_ is sheng slang for _to be afraid/chicken out_  
3] The Southern Cassowary is a large flightless black bird.  
4] The African Big Five are the African elephant, the Rhinoceros, the Cape Buffalo, the Lion and the Leopard.


	2. Never Underestimate a Woman

Author's Notes: Glad that some people out there are enjoying these! Here's my second story with the pair!

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**Never Underestimate a Woman with a Big Stick**

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Many men, Kenya knew, would go to extreme lengths to impress a lady.

They'd take on challenges and extremes they normally wouldn't brave, and do stupidly over-the-top antics just to show off. And if she didn't know him better, Australia's latest would have fallen soundly into the "trying too hard" camp.

Luckily for him, Kenya was quite aware that Australia considered such things as going about poking some of the world's most venomous snakes with a stick all part of an average day.

The fact he not-too-suavely invited Kenya along "in case she'd like to see any of the little ankle biters" on the other hand was a bit on the showing-off side. But humoring him because it was for the good cause of catching the snakes and milking them to produce antivenom, Kenya agreed.

Little did she know that Australia wouldn't be the only one showing off that day.

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"Blimey, it's a might be steamy today. You all right there?" Australia asked, fanning himself with his slouch hat and giving her a smile.

Kenya nodded, sweeping her dreadlocks up off her neck with her scarf and tying them up in a ponytail. "My summers are pretty hot too, you know," she taunted.

Australia had the courtesy to give her that, although by the way his eyes lingered just a bit longer on where the scarf was brushing against her neck, Kenya had a feeling her summers weren't the only think he was thinking to be pretty hot.

They'd been, literally, poking around hoping to lure out some of the snakes. Of course, the snakes were never too happy to be disturbed and often got a bit tetchy when Australia had to milk their venom.

"Right mellow blighters when you leave 'em be, but fuss with them and boy do they not like you for that! Isn't that right you lovely sheila?" He finished, cooing at the snake he'd just finished with before letting it slither away.

Kenya chuckled, thinking of some of her home's snakes and their similarities. "You should see the black mambas at my place. They go off at quite the clip when they hear someone coming. Not too fun to try and catch one when you need it."

Australia gave her a grin. "Bet its speed doesn't have anything on you."

She flushed. "It is the fastest snake in the world, Australia."

"I've seen you outrun a Cheetah."

She smacked his arm gently. "Now you're just talking shonde. Flatterer."

He cocked a grin as if he was just about to flirt with her some more when suddenly he grabbed her by the arm and yanked her down behind a termite mound. "Shh, something rustling near by," he murmured, his eyes scanning around on alert.

Kenya thought at first he meant the small wallaby that had just jumped out of the rocky outcrop nearby, but as Australia darted forward, she looked up to see the real problem.

Poachers. With their guns aimed right at the wallaby, at that.

She felt a wave of hatred trickle down her spine, thoughts of her homeland's own poaching problems and how much it always hurt her when they attacked her wildlife coming to mind. Kenya knew then that Australia had probably felt a similar hatred as these men approached in their stripped down truck.

That's when another, more horrifying thought, registered to Kenya.

Australia had put himself between the poachers and the wallaby, and as the gunshot rang out, Kenya knew she couldn't reach him in time.

Blood was trickling down his leg, but Australia was too busy shooing the wallaby to safety to worry about his own troubles. So working purely on adrenaline and impulse, Kenya snatched up the two sticks they'd been using for the snakes and boldly stood up.

Slipping into her own language, she stalked towards the poachers.

"Wewe mabaya ya watu, nitafunza wewe ni somo," she said with venom in her voice.

_Yes, evil people, I will teach you a lesson,_ Kenya thought to herself as she gripped the sticks firmly in each hand.

Before they could blink, before they could fire another shot, she struck. She'd been trained by the Maasai people well in the art of fimbo stick fighting and she wasn't going to let these men escape to poach another day.

Her dreadlocks spinning wildly behind her as she whirled around, Kenya caught the first poacher's gun on her stick and tossed it towards Australia. Behind her, the two others started to shoot, but she blocked one bullet with the momentum of her stick and dodged the second before racing (with the speed of a Cheetah, perhaps, she thought with a smirk) towards them and effectively pinning one to the ground.

As the other cocked his gun, Australia called out, "Drop the gun!"

He'd staggered over to the gun and was now aiming it at him.

In the few seconds the poacher pondered whether or not to obey; Kenya's stick effectively smacked him in the back of the head and sent him tumbling forward. She stepped over him and pressed the bottom of the stick against his hand as it groped around for his gun.

"Try it and I'll skewer you."

He wisely surrendered at that.

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After locking the three poachers in the cage they had in the back of their truck bed and calling in the authorities to deal with them, Kenya shifted her attention to Australia's injury.

As they sat on the dusty ground, she prodded at the wound and Australia hissed.

"That wallaby owes you its life, you know."

Australia gave her a weak grin. "Least I could do for the little guy."

Kenya yanked the scarf from her hair, the dreadlocks cascading down to her shoulders, and she started to wrap it around Australia's leg.

"And this is the least I can do for you."

Australia put his hand down over hers, and he gave her a genuine smile. "Not going to kiss and make it better, huh?"

She cocked an eyebrow at that, then shifted to sit beside him on the ground. Pulling him over against her side, she put an arm around his back. "Take it easy now; you lost a lot of blood blundering around with that gun."

He leaned into her touch, her hand reaching up to stroke at the nape of his neck in relaxing circles. "And you are bleeding magnificent, you know that?"

She flushed. "What's that supposed to mean? Blood loss go to your head?"

He chuckled, reaching over with his hand to take hers where it rested on her knee. "Fighting off three armed men with two sticks _and_ tending to my wounds? Right ace, you are."

Australia gave her hand a squeeze at that and she smiled. She supposed, in this situation, the flattery was warranted.

"Huweza wewe kuponya vizuri, upendo," she murmured, turning to kiss him.

The tang of dust and sweat met her lips as she captured his, Australia's hand reaching up to tangle into her hair as it swished around her shoulders. Pulling back, he gave her a smile.

"What's that mean, Kenya?"

She smiled softly, placing her hand over the scarf binding his injured leg, and locking eyes with him.

"May you heal well, love."

Australia chuckled. "Looks like I should get shot more often."

And holding back her own laughter, Kenya gave him a playful nudge in the shoulder for that. "Don't you dare."

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Notes:  
[1] _shonde_ means 'shit' in _sheng slang_  
[2] Kenya slips into her language, Swahili, twice. First saying "You evil people, I will teach you a lesson" and the second is the translation she gives to Australia.  
[3] The Maasai (also Masai) are an ethnic group of semi-nomadic people located in Kenya and northern Tanzania


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